A Mother's Love: Part 2

     Keith's job allowed him to work for two days from home. I had enough time accrued and took a day off after he returned to work. All the while making phone call after phone call to schools, churches, day cares, and summer programs to no avail. They didn't have any openings for her age so close to the closing of the school year and the start of summer. Thankful I didn't have to endure this process alone, but still growing hopeless.

     On Thursday May 31, I text my supervisor to explain what was happening and I asked if it would be possible for me to bring Kayelle with me to work the next day because I was only scheduled to work three hours that day. As a human resource professional for the state, I still had obligations to attend to make sure people were paid on time, receiving their benefits, and completing time sensitive transactions. I received a response a few hours later giving the okay. I figured she would have to contact our HR Manager and HR Director before giving the green light. 

     Friday morning my supervisor greeted Kayelle with a plush reindeer which gave her a big smile. Then another colleague gave her one of her balloons she had in the office. Kayelle love's gifts. A third colleague printed out pictures of princesses for her to color. Despite intermittent interruptions of "Who's that Mommie?", "I have to go to the bathroom", "Can I go talk to your friend?", and sporadic bolts from my cubicle to explore the office, I was able to get most of my work done for the day. 

     Kayelle and I visited a day care after where the director informed me she had two openings available, but she'd promised both parents she would give them until June 11 to turn in their paperwork. If they didn't she would have an opening and Kayelle could start then, but if they did I would be back at square one. What frustrated me, because we needed child care right away, I had all the necessary paperwork with me: no waiting needed. I thanked the director for her time and asked her to call me if there were any changes. Then I proceeded home feeling defeated. Fielding questions from Kayelle about what school she would go to and why couldn't she go back to Corporate Kids didn't help. 

     When we arrived home I made us something to eat and I started making more phone calls. After a few hours I received a call from Keith telling me to head to one of the Christian schools near our home. A few months ago I attended an open house there and hopes Kayelle would be able to attend their pre-k program. We also submitted an application for the summer program and were currently on their waiting list. Well, as a last resort Keith called the school again and happened to get the director of the program on the phone. He appealed to her and she was allowing Kayelle to join the program. 

     I rushed over with Kayelle in tow. When I came through the door she said you must be Tiffany and Kayelle. She told me everything I would need to do to prepare and how Keith broke her heart as he cried over the phone. This started the waterworks for me and I couldn't thank her enough.She gave me a hug and told me she would see us on June 12.

     My friend of twenty years, Ronda offered to watch Kayelle during the day until she began summer camp. Thankfully, Ronda works from home and is able to adjust her schedule. Between the three of us we were determined to prepare her physically, mentally, and spiritually for returning to a structured child care program. Keith and I agreed we needed to have her evaluated. 

     Kayelle's very intelligent beyond her years. People often joke she has been here before. Other's are surprised at her ability to socialize on such a mature level. Nevertheless, as parents, we also recognized there was a tendency for hyperactive behavior prior to her incident at Corporate Kids and we also wanted to address the recent aggressive behavior she had developed. 

     The first meeting was with her regular pediatrician who said she did not believe Kayelle had an inability to learn  because she found her to be very smart, which was good. She also said it was a possibility that she had ADHD, but she would have her meet with the in-house counselor first and then referred to an outside professional if necessary. The doctor said what she didn't want to do is began medicating her at such a young age because in her words "I don't want her to go from this vibrant happy child to a zombie." We discussed techniques we used at home and the doctor was happy to know that we already had routines in place which are recommended for children with ADHD. The doctor also stated she believed her recent aggressive behavior was a result of her interactions with the mean teacher and could have been exacerbated id Kayelle is indeed diagnosed with ADHD. She said because Kayelle only showed this aggression towards the people she saw as authority figures, it was her way of releasing her frustration because at her age it's the only way she knows how to express it. 

     The second meeting was with the in-house counselor who said after observing Kayelle saw that she had tendencies of hyperactivity, but did not believe she has ADHD. I shared with her Keith and I had concerns after reading an article about children who snore, like Kayelle, and the possibility of it and sleep apnea being related to hyperactivity. She told me we were absolutely on point and shared her husband's experience with being medicated after an ADHD diagnosis as a child. He was medicated for some time and then as a teen his sleep apnea was discovered. A CPAP machine was put in place of his medication and he was fine ever since. 

      As someone who was diagnosed with sleep apnea three years ago, I told her I was recognizing other signs in Kayelle: morning headaches, uncontrolled appetite, fatigue after several hours of sleep, nightmares, profuse sweating. The counselor agreed with the pediatrician that she did not think Kayelle needed medication and instead she would give us a referral for her to see a pulmonologist for a sleep study. I felt a sense of relief after meeting with the pediatrician and counselor. Since Kayelle was starting summer camp the following day, the counselor and I made an appointment for a couple of weeks to see how the change of environment would work for her and to discuss any new occurrences. 

     Day 1 of summer camp Kayelle was very excited. When we arrived to the school she immediately ran to the admissions coordinator and gave her a hug. I took her to the room where her age group would gather in the morning before starting their daily activities. They already had a space with her name to place her belongings. Kayelle went right into the classroom to play, as if she had been there all along, while I spoke with the teacher. I gave her a kiss and a hug before I left. As I sat in my car, before I headed to work, I thanked Jesus over and over. 

     I would be lying if I said I wasn't apprehensive that my phone would ring with someone on the other line telling me that Kayelle had another episode, but as the hours passed I became more relaxed. I got all the way up to my lunch break and my mind started to ease. After lunch I had a training for about two hours. When I returned to my desk I saw I had several missed calls from Keith and several missed calls from the school on both my work and cell phones. Then I read the text at about 1:30 p.m. that Kayelle needed to be picked up. My heart dropped. 

     When I arrived at the school the admissions coordinator said at nap time she did not want to lay down. She personally went to the room to tell Kayelle to lay down and she complied, but a few minutes later the teacher was bringing Kayelle to her because she was being disruptive and refused to lay down. At one point she attempted to run out of the school. The Head of Schools had to physically restrain her. I was handed our application and an envelope with our check payments and told she would not be able to return. The admissions coordinator apologized and gave me a hug. I learned later, when Kayelle finally calmed down, the Head of Schools asked Kayelle why was she behaving this way. She told him because she knew when she did her mommie and daddy would be called (precedent set by Corporate Kids) to come to get her and she wanted to be home with us. 

     When Keith arrived home to talk with Kayelle she knew what she did was wrong. I sat on my bed and cried. She came in the room and saw me. She went to the bathroom, got some tissue, came back and started to wipe my tears. Kayelle then  went into the room with Keith where I could here her crying. She told Keith she was crying because she didn't want me to be sad. She wanted me to be happy. As he tried to talk to her she kept repeating she wanted Mommie. Kayelle came back in the room with me where she climbed up on my lap so emotional she was hyperventilating. She told me she didn't want me to be sad. I told her I was going to pray. She wanted to pray with me. She prayed "God please give my Mommie peace and please help me learn to listen, and please make my Mommie and Daddy happy again." With each please, she became even more emotional. She wouldn't let me hold her because she wanted to look at and wipe my face. 

     I realized I needed to left her spirit and as much as I was in despair I had to stop crying. I took her hand and we went into the living room where I turned on the Youtube app. I told her we were going to get happy and we were going to dance. She reluctantly said okay. I put on the Minions video with Pharell's song Happy and the biggest smile came across her face. For those minutes, we danced around, kicked our feet, threw our hands in the air and enjoyed being in the moment. Then song after song we rocked and danced our worries away. 

     I left a message on the voicemail of Kayelle's counselor letting her know what transpired that day. My goal is to address her Keith and I decided instead of trying to find another child care program for her to go into, the best thing for Kayelle right now would be for me to resign from my position at work and address her needs. This also means we are on the fast track to completely modifying our lifestyle and find housing that our single income will accommodate.

     At this point of resolve, I don't feel the urge to cry anymore. I kissed my husband, who has also shed enough tears during this saga and told him we have endured a lot in the last eighteen years together. We'll get through this also. We are ready to begin the next chapter life has set for us.

We have started a Go Fund Me. If you would like to help, please visit https://www.gofundme.com/kayelle039s-campaign.